Right now couples around the world are frantically searching for the perfect Valentine’s Day gift for their special someone. Some will buy into the tried and true gift of flowers and chocolate, some will stay low budget with a sickeningly sweet stuffed animal, and others will break the bank with lavish jewelry or clothes. The stress of the holiday hardly seems worth it, when after all it’s just meant to show what you should already know – that you love that person and are loved in return.
Though most people’s first thought is to jump to scour gift guides in hopes of finding inspiration, they could be looking in the completely wrong direction. Everyone is completely unique, and so is the way we like to receive love.
American author and speaker, Gary Chapman, released his book The Five Love Languages in 1995, and it has been a New York Times best-seller since 2009. Chapman theorized that while everyone wants to receive love, people feel loved in different ways. Chapman lists five different love languages: receiving gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, and physical touch.
Chapman also states that everyone has a primary and secondary love language. Some self-intuitive people might know their love language immediately, but for those unsure, take a quiz! Knowing your love language and the language of your boyfriend, girlfriend, or even friends and family, can help strengthen your bond, make sure everyone feels loved, and maybe even save some cash!
We’ve come up with some ideas for making Valentine’s Day special for all five of the different love languages:
This is the default Valentine’s Day plan, but instead of getting something off a gift guide or a nabbing a good deal, try to think of what your S.O. really wants. Have they mentioned wanting new trainers or is their wallet falling apart? Instead of splurging on cliché gifts, get something to show your partner that you listen to them and are attune to the things they want, but also need.
Words of Affirmation:
While you might be used to telling your loved one just how special they are, sometimes words can be fleeting, and those with this love language need to be constantly reminded. This Valentine’s Day take some time to revive the art of letter writing, and put some of those words onto paper. Even if writing isn’t your strong suit, your partner will be moved by seeing that you took the time to reflect on, and document how much you love them.
For some people time together is the greatest gift. Low budget ideas could be having a movie marathon together, taking a walk, or going for a drive. If you can splurge, maybe go on a day trip or holiday, or to a theme park or adventure park. Whether or not you spend money on this gift your partner will love some uninterrupted one-on-one time with you.
Acts of Service:
Sometimes helping out is the greatest gift you give. If your partner has any big or little tasks, offer to give them hand. Even helping out with simple, everyday chores, is a way to relieve your loved one for a bit, and spend some time chatting. Fold laundry, or go grocery shopping together! If there’s nothing to help out with, consider cooking a nice meal at home. Putting in the effort will show them that you’re willing to work for your relationship.
Aside from the obvious answer to this one, think about some activities that will bring you closer outside of the bedroom. Look up a few moves on how to give your partner a relaxing massage, or limber up together with couple’s yoga. On your romantic Valentine’s dinner ask the host if there is a table where you can sit side by side. Being in close proximity can help your partner feel safe and loved.
Hopefully these tips can reduce the stress and provide a mutually fulfilling Valentine’s Day. But, these tips can also help throughout the year but recognizing everyone’s different needs and making sure they are met!
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