Your twenties and your time in college is not about emotional dependence on another but investing in yourself and enjoying the process, writes Erin Lindsay...

I don’t know if anyone’s seen the story of the girl who spent a whole week sitting in KFC after being dumped? As in she did not leave the premises for a week? Ridiculous stuff but it got me thinking – this girl felt so utterly broken and devastated that she couldn't even go home because “everything reminded me of him”. She was that dependent on another human being that when things didn't work out and he was gone, she really had a breakdown. Now I know we all laughed at the story, but that kind of thinking has genuinely serious implications.

I think there’s a mentality among young people nowadays that we need another person to ‘complete’ us. That sometimes if we are feeling lonely or down, the solution is for someone to come sweep you off your feet and show you affection. While affection is needed, it is never the solution to an underlying issue. Relationships amongst friends, family and a current boyfriend/girlfriend can certainly help you, however this idea that you need a new relationship if you are single, is not the cure. 

Becoming psychologically and emotionally dependent on another person, especially at a young age, can be extremely damaging and is not a long-term solution to the problems you may have right now. If you find yourself unhappy or depressed, then it’s really important that you find a way to help yourself up out of it. Of course family, friends and boy/girlfriends can be amazing help and can put you back on the right track when you veer off.  If you put the time and work into developing yourself for you, then that’s worth everything.

I see so many girls (and guys I’m sure) out there who change things about themselves in the hopes that this will finally get them a relationship and that that in turn will make everything perfect. If you want to make a change in your life then that’s brilliant – just make sure that it’s what you want for yourself. You are your own person – taking the time to develop yourself into something to be proud of is the best possible thing for your self- confidence and self-esteem.

Another bad outcome of being too dependent on someone is that it may be the wrong person. A lot of people get it into their heads that there isn't anyone else who would love them and so stay with a person who may be hurting them rather than helping. The majority of you guys reading this are in your late teens/early twenties, but regardless of age there are always plenty of fish in the sea. It’s never worth staying with someone out of anxiety of the unknown. It’s far better to be alone wolf than to stay with someone who isn't right for you.

Ever hear the saying that you twenties are your selfish years? To invest in yourself and have the best time ever doing it? College is the best place possible to start. Develop yourself and the right people will come and will stay. Don’t end up like that poor soul in KFC – the best relationship you have in life is with yourself.