Wait, you mean I can get money for going to school... I mean college?

Well, maybe. You have to prove a few things. Think of it like a challenge, you need to prove your household income is low enough for the Government to deem it neccessary to throw a few hundred quid at you to keep the wolves from the door. And to pay your registration fees. If you're anything like as clueless as I was when I first started asking the government for money, you need help with your student grant.

All right, where do I sign on – I mean up?

First, you apply to the local authority where you live normally, not where your college is. Some areas have an online application process, others require you to post in your application. Either way, go to studentfinance.ie and get cracking on those forms!

What's a P60? And what's all this “accrued interest” malarkey? MA! HELP!

Without getting too bogged down in the nitty-gritty, you will need to provide original documents like your birth certificate and P60s for your household. This is to prove to the people you want to get money off that you are a citizen of Ireland or entitled to claim financial assistance as such and that you do actually need the money.

You or your parents will need to write to any financial institutions where the household has deposits. This is to ask them to provide statements of the interest accrued on savings and investments in the previous year. Make sure to mention in the letter that the statement is needed for a student grant application; they'll know what information needs to be included.

It can take five working days to produce these statements, which means it will take the best part of two weeks to get it, allowing for postage. It's a good idea to get all the statements ready long before you start your application. If your home office is equipped with a time machine, nip back to January of this year and post off requests for these documents.

Wouldn't that breach causality?

Well, just bear it in mind for when your grant gets reviewed next year then.

And nobody with a time machine in their house could possibly be hard up enough to need a grant...

That's a very good point. Maintenance grants are paid on a sliding scale based on your household income the year before you apply and the number of dependent children in the household.

If your household income is less than €41,110 and there are four or fewer dependent children, you're entitled to full fees and full maintenance. If you live near college, this will net you €1,250. If you live far away from college, you'll get paid at the non-adjacent rate of €3,120.

For households with incomes up to €47,205, part maintenance can still be paid. If you don't qualify for maintenance, you may still be able to get fees paid in full or in part if your income is less than €55,920. The thresholds for payment are higher for households with more dependent children.

[http://www.citizensinformation.ie/en/education/third_level_education/fees_and_supports_for_third_level_education/maintenance_grant_schemes_for_students_on_third_level_courses.html

Visit citizensinformation.ie for  the rates payable and the income thresholds.

Last year's Budget changed the criteria for non-adjacent grant payments. The minimum distance went up from 24 to 46 kilometres, and mature students no longer get a grant at non-adjacent rates by default.

All right already, when do I get the bread?

You should get three maintenance payments throughout the year, the first coming around October and other two later in the year. The local authorities in Dublin, Roscommon and Sligo now pay directly into your bank account. If you're not from around those parts, you'll still need to collect your cheques from the grants office at college.

In recent years the grant awarding authorities have been overwhelmed by the applications they receive. If your grant application is still pending approval, your payment will be delayed. Try to get the forms in as early as possible.

And Fresher...

Don't spend it all in the same pub.