Apparently, being the absolute pigs we are, we consumed on average 6,000 calories on Christmas Day.

For those of you that don’t get the whole calorie thing, that’s about three times the recommended daily amount. 3,500 calories will make you gain one pound of fat, and it would take a 60 mile walk to burn off the calories you shoveled into your gob on the 25th.

You see it every January, troops of women pounding the by-pass in their new Asics, men trying out-lift each other in the gym (in spite of the hernias) and an un-quantifiable upsurge in the sale of vegetables. Or diet pills. One question- WHY NOW?

We seem to be content with being fat slobs from March to December but there’s something about the utterance of the term ‘new year’ that sees us all consumed with guilt. The old brain chemistry changes in an instant during the haze of a New Years Day hangover… and we ‘resolve’ to be healthy, fit and gorgeous, for a bit.

The media is jam-packed full of dieting tips and advice on how to be a ‘new you’ for the ‘new year.’ Eh, what exactly was wrong with the ‘old’ us?! Sure, we could probably all do with being a little thinner, and lets face it, the Irish are not exactly known for their dedication to exercise and abstinence from alcohol. That said, New Year guilt is still a very confusing phenomenon.

Is it peer pressure? Many of us are shamed into getting on the ‘my body is a temple’ band-wagon by ultra-enthusiastic friends or family members but I wonder if this sudden dedication to a pristine lifestyle is an actual choice or just the ‘done thing.’

And that’s before we mention the fags. Rapidly approaching €10 a box, cigarettes are killing smokers in more ways than one! Possibly one of the most common New Year resolutions going, thousands of Irish folk say they are ‘giving up the fags.’ Many of these adamant statements are met with incredulous gasps, or more commonly, skeptical giggles. There’s all sorts of sprays, tablets and possibly even nicotine suppositories to help the addicts among us. But what’s the point?

We’re all gonna be chain-smoking fatties again by June, just in time for the ‘get your body bikini ready’ onslaught….