Our sexual health correspondent answers all your ridiculous questions about girl-on-girl sex. Listen up, lads.

How forthright are you about your sex life? How many times a week do you go into the mechanical details about who puts what where when you take it between the sheets? Lets face it, as a country we are not known for our frankness about the sex.

But that doesn’t stop people asking ridiculous and inappropriate questions (and some ridiculously inappropriate questions) about girl-on-girl sex. Particularly guys. Girl-on-girl sex has a unique titillation factor for a lot of hetrosexual men (thank you for that, porn). But your ridiculous questions get pretty tiring...

1. How do you guys even do it?

Other people’s sex lives are not there for your education or titillation. If you are that interested try using that magic technology that provides answers to questions posed...what’s it called again? Oh yeah “Google”.

2. Which one of you is the guy?

Quick, your ignorance is showing! Ellen Degeneres summed the stupidity of this question up when she explained that it was like asking which chopstick was the fork.

3. So….scissoring?

So…this is the holy grail of what people generally think they know about girl-on-girl sex. If a girl wants to discuss the intimate details of her sex life with you rock on but be prepared to give a little in return.

4. Have you ever had sex with a guy?

Have you?

5. Can I join in?

Yes, thank you so much for offering. My female sex partner and I have been praying for a d*ckhead like yourself to join us and we would never have been able to source one for ourselves so thank you for saving us the trouble. Does tomorrow at nine suit you? Perf.

(Just kidding f*ck off)