From the yearly shopping trips to Dublin to the mandatory monthly disco, here are the top things that only people from the Midlands will know. And remember, the bog is life...
The bog is life
Summers in the Midlands often revolve around the bog and the GAA. The first sign of good weather means every member of the family is dragged out to cut, turn and foot the turf.
This often lasts from morning to night with tae, hang shangwiches and bischuits being thrown out by the dozen.
Being called a Bogger
Even if you are from the Midlands and have never had ventured onto the bog before (rare, but it happens), you will be called a bogger by those who aren’t from the Midlands.
You may live in the largest town in your county and have never stepped on a farm in your life, but be prepared for bogger jokes when talking to anyone from Dublin, Cork, Limerick or any other large city.
Being called a BIFFO
It is nearly a given that being from the Midlands you will inevitably be called a BIFFO, even if you aren’t from Offaly. People just tend to throw Laois and Westmeath into consideration with the term.
Lads wearing checked shirts and baggy jeans to teen discos
Culchie discos are full to the brim with lads wearing checkered shirts, loose-fit jeans and statement Jack Jones belts.
Smelling like an explosion at the Lynx factory is a must for any underage lad at a teen disco. This crew will start off with cider and progress to ale with age, still wearing the same checkered shirts and jeans.
Ah, the humble teen disco. The Friday night once a month where a community centre in the backarse of nowhere is transformed into a hotspot for teens to try get the shift and take a million selfies. The teens may come and go, but culchie discos will last forever.
The big trip up to Dublin to go shopping
The trip up to Dublin is a well-prepared one. The day starts off at some ungodly hour in the morning with the father shouting ‘Are ye right?’ before all the children are loaded into the car for the journey. After two hours in the ‘big shmoke’ the whole family are undoubtedly worn out and have to leave to beat the traffic.
Having fla’ accents
If you know someone from the Midlands, you have probably realised that t's and d's are dropped from words like there's no tomorrow and the 'th' may as well be forgotten about. For example, the popular brand of snack, Tay-to, is pronounced as Tay-ho.
No-one outside of Ireland knows of your county because you aren’t from Cork, Dublin or Galway
There is no point in saying where you are from on foreign holidays unless you are from Cork, Dublin or Galway, because chances are, they won’t have a clue what you’re talking about. The best thing is to shout ‘IRELAND’ and hope for a free pint out of it.
Some people inside of Ireland don’t know of your county
This has happened before. See article on what it’s like being from Laois.