What’s happening out there?

Here’s some of the sh*t you need to know this cloudy Wednesday.

Sub-wayhey

Some good news first: Subway plans to create up to 1,800 new jobs in Ireland over the next six years. The sandwich shop hopes to increase the number of Subway stores around the country by over 180. There are a total of 117 stores in Ireland at the moment, with 16 new shops planned to open this year. We wonder who will FILL those jobs.

Budget overboard

The coalition is in deep water (again). It emerged yesterday that the Government went almost 60% over budget on the planning of Irish Water. €16million was spent on consultants, engineering and additional staff by the Department of the Environment last year. This spend is outside the massive €180million bill for operational costs, €50million of which was already spend on consultants. Them politicians always manage to submerge themselves in controversy.

Worst kind of publican

Michael Johnson of Johnson’s Bar in Kilrush has been named “the worst kind of publican” by Judge Patrick Durcan after the court learned that he was selling below-strength vodka to his customers. Johnson bought 12 bottles of vodka at 33% strength, below the regulation 37%, and sold them on to his customers. The judge wasn’t so much ticked off that Johnson’s customers were getting slightly less hammered than they thought – Johnson earned the worst kind of publican title because he avoided paying the appropriate level of tax on the products. Plus he bought the vodka from a man he didn’t know and sold it to punters without really know what the devil was in it at all. He was ordered to close the pub for a week and clamped him with a fine of €4,000.

Don’t feed the animals (Tayto)

And finally, wildlife inspectors have ordered Tayto Park in Co Meath not to introduce any new animals to the park’s zoo after they discovered “inappropriate breeding” and “overweight” animals at the theme park. Cheese and onion will do that to you, alright…