Gavin Spillane gives us some of his hilarious tips to help all you cash-strapped students out there.
When you’re living away from home and going to college, one thing you notice - besides love handles and your inability to clean - is that you spend money sparingly. 
 
Going home at the weekends to work your minimum wage job means you might have €50 to last you a week at college. This can only mean doing whatever it takes to save a few euros every week.
 
Spirits
Every student will vouch that going out can be heavy on the wallet. Many can’t afford to be buying rounds of Grey Goose, so they usually choose the next best/ cheapest option. 
 
A seasoned student drinker will know every trick of the trade when it comes to buying their weekly dose of vitamin V. Naggins, shoulders, half bottles, whatever you want to call them, are considered rip-offs nowadays at around €12-14. 
 
The only response an astute undergraduate has to these tough times is to get twice as hammered for the same price. This usually involves a 70cl of Aldi’s finest paint stripper: Rachaminoff, Putinoff and Tamova all float around the €14 mark. Sure what are stomach ulcers at the end of the day?
 
Toilet Paper
Quality bog roll isn’t exactly cheap and one ply is a no go area. The cleanest and most reasonable solution to this dilemma lie in public bathrooms. When you are moving from one lecture to the next it won’t hurt to pop into a public bathroom and swipe a few rolls of toilet paper. 
 
It will save you a bit of money and you’ll be in your housemate’s good books after they see the supplies restored. There’s no point dwelling over the guilt of taking it. After all, you need it more than the college needs it.
 
Food Shopping
Aldi and Lidl are a gold mine when it comes to students scraping their coppers together for nightclub entry. If you, like a lot of students, pick drink over the food you eat, then you can expect to spend less than a tenner on your week’s supply of food. 
 
Slice pan of bread, 2 litres of milk, pasta, cereal and beans are the usual suspects. A week of dining on the fine cuisines of plain pasta and beans and toast is worth it if it means you can get drunk on a Thursday night.
 
Don’t drink
Alcohol is bad kids. Don’t do it.
 
Joking aside, if you’re rummaging around your cupboard like a starving racoon looking for scraps of food because you blew all your money on drink, maybe you should slow down on the socialising.
 
To be fair it is the best way to save money, but it’s also the hardest and the most boring way if you’re stopping it cold turkey.
 
You’ve heard all these methods before, but it’s all about getting value for money when you are in university.
 
Photo: Tatiana Vdb/ Flickr