From the endless discussions with friends to the mandatory Facebook stalking, Orla Keogh gives us this hysterical guide to a girl's preparation before a date.
Dates are great. They are a great chance to get to know somebody new and also gives you the chance to present yourself however you want to.
However, dates are also occasionally stressful and awkward. And sometimes utterly disastrous.
While it may not be true of all girls, it is certainly common for a girl to spend the days/hours/minutes leading up to a date in panicked conversation with friends.
Here are some of the things a girl will do to prepare for a date:
Talk to her friends
This tends to involve a lot of describing of the possible suitor; their appearance, their personality, whether they use emojis or not, their music taste, if they are in college and all sorts of other valuable and vital information.
It is a rare occurrence for a girl to go on a date without first discussing said potential date with her friends.
Plan what to wear
This is potentially the most difficult decision. Are heels too dressy for the cinema? Are Converse too childish? Is a statement necklace too much?
She wants to look nice, but not overdressed, casual but not under dressed, cool but not like she's trying too hard.
Talk to her friends (again)
Consult about shoe choices, whether they think she should wear her swish leather jacket or just a cardigan. If she should go for a smoky eye or red lip or keep it simple. Whether she should straighten her hair or curl it - girls consult each other a lot.
Have a little stalk
If all she has to go on is a Tinder profile, this can be difficult, but never underestimate the power of a girl and her friends.
She will no doubt have a little peek at your Facebook page, and sure when she has your name she might as well check your Instagram and Twitter too. Nowhere is safe.
Talk to her friends (yes, again)
Yes, now that the stalking is complete, she will report back to her friends with her findings. Screenshots of particularly cute photos or posts are to be expected, as well as that photo of you with the family in Portugal from 2009.
Come up with a list of things to talk about
She may read back over conversations you've had for inspiration, as well as another quick check of Facebook for any common interests.
She will do her homework in order to avoid the inevitable awkward silences. She will make a list of subjects to bring up in case things get quiet, which she will probably forget.
Spend approximately 300 hours getting ready
Okay, that is a slight exaggeration, but if you are meeting your lovely lady at 9 o'clock you can be sure that preparations started hours before.
She will try on her planned outfit, then worry if it's actually okay. She will again consult her friends and then ignore their advice and wear what she originally planned.
She will possibly give herself a pep talk. She may convince herself not to go, to cancel, to rearrange, only to be convinced by her trusty friends and partners-in-stalking that she should absolutely go, that she's fabulous and that she'll have a great time.
Have a last minute panic right before you meet, until she sees how cute and funny you are.