The world's top surgeons and medical teams have sensationally revealed that they may be able to cure the dreaded 'Cork Accent' within ten years, reports Steve Timothy.
The disease, strangely only carried by people born and raised in and around the environs of Co. Cork, has long plagued hundreds of thousands leaving them destitute and unable to be understood by the vast majority of the earth's inhabitants.
The ground breaking research is being carried out by Professor Richard Mounteagle, a Noble Prize winning surgeon and top medical pioneer.
The professor is believed to have been compelled to act after hearing the accent of a live Corkman in London zoo last year. "It was horrible," he stated, "just to watch the man try to form vowels and get the words out was heartbreaking for me."
He later visited Cork in person to see the damage in real life. "I cried when I arrived. Rivers of spit and teeth laid waste to the streets. They seem oblivious to the fact they have it and even seem to be able to converse with their own kind, but as soon as they visit a normal area of Ireland they are left lonely and are like fish out of water."
One sufferer, Padraig O Se, desperately tried to share with us his plight through hand gestures and various moans and clicks only to be left forlorn when he realised it was all in vain.
Donations may be forwarded to 'The Cork Appeal' or on CorkAppeal.ie
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