1. NOT RESPONDING TO MY GREETING
It seems pretty basic to reply to a simple “Hi, how are you?”. Considering I have to stand behind a till for eight hours straight having the exact same weather-related conversation back-to-back, the least you could do is smile and say hello.
2. NOT PLACING MONEY INTO MY OUTSTRETCHED HAND
I honestly do not understand this. I cannot wrap my head around how customers can ignore my open hand - often reaching past it - to place their money on the counter instead. Why can't you make it easier for the two of us!
3. “OH CRAP! I FORGOT SOMETHING, GIVE ME TWO SECONDS!”
There are few things in this world that annoy me more than people who get to the counter and then realize they forgot something. And what's worse is the queue is always half way down the shop, and instead of the customers being annoyed with you, they shoot me death glares for “allowing you” to run across the shop to grab milk.
4. MONEY STORED IN BRAS OR SHOES
It is always the most disgusting, dirty and unhygienic people that do this, and that is really why this bothers me so much. It's the sweaty, wrinkly old women that stink of cigarettes and brandy that feel the need to pay with tenners drenched in boob-sweat. And what's worse (yes, it can somehow be worse) is that they do it right in front of you! One day I’ll rub your change against my crotch before I hand it to you.
5. PAYING IN PENNIES
You are the worst person ever. No matter how many times I assure you that "It's grand, seriously", it is NOT grand. There is nothing worse then me having to count out fourteen Euro in coppers! Under no circumstances is that OK. And the icing on the cake is that it's always when the shop is absolutely jammed with people that these idiots show up to wreak havoc. Sometimes I feel like they can sense the venom on my teeth when I smile goodbye, or at least I hope the feckers do!
6. THE "WHY DID YOU JUST TEST MY MONEY" GLARE
In this day and age, con artists are more common than selfie sticks, and you can't be too careful. We have money testers which we use to scan ALL notes before accepting them because the owner got sick of us taking in dud fivers and tenners (yes, apparently those exist) so the machines were bought. I was told by a co-worker that any dud notes taken in will be taken from our wages, so naturally I don't won't that to happen so I take five seconds to scan the notes. But there is something about it that customers cannot comprehend. I find it awkward enough having to do it right in front of you, but when you stop mid-sentence in our conversation because I'm testing your money, and then stare in shock as if I've just accused you of shoplifting, it makes me feel even more awkward.
I hate when customers get impatient with each other. I'm sorry, but I cannot help it if the person ahead of you in the queue also has a trolley-load of shopping with them, so when you stand there sighing constantly and quite loudly over how long it's taking as I scan through it, you're helping nobody. And most of the time, I will deliberately stall just to get my own back at you. But that's not all, after the tutting and sighing, what elicits a smack is when the next customer starts unloading their shopping onto the counter before the other customer is finished and before they have been called. Go away!
8. LAST MINUTE SHOPPERS
This is by far, the worst thing on the list. It seems no matter what time the shop closes at, about a dozen people will walk in sixty seconds before the doors shut to "quickly grab one thing". You belong in hell. Do you know how tiring it is to work ten hour shifts? Do you know how anti-social our hours are? For most of our shift, all we can think about is clocking out at the end of the day and skipping out of work. Even if it does just add five or ten minutes to our day, those seem like the longest minutes of our lives. So don't even bother apologizing.
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