The mature student
These can be separated into two groups. One group is known as the mid-life crisis group. They can be found wearing Nike Airs, tracksuits and are the only people in the smoking area, not smoking Amber Leaf. The other type of mature students have the bants with lecturers over ‘the good old days,’ always sit up the front in lectures and are the only ones who contribute as everyone else is too intimidated. These mature students have an opinion on everything and will keep you there for hours, asking inane questions of the lecturers.
Simply, that lad from whatever godforsaken bog hole who comes to college wearing the same county colours jersey for a week straight. He also frequently has a roll in his hand and tells everyone loudly that he is, “off the drink for the championship.” Often obnoxious, often smelly.
This person has a golden week every single week. Their natural habitat is the library and they are the go to person for information on absolutely everything you might have missed in lectures. They are calculating how good their grades have to be to get a 1.1 average from fresher’s week.
This person has dropped out from many a college course, and has infinite knowledge on college life in general compared to the lowly first years they have to sit with. They threaten to drop out a lot or say, “I can’t drop out of this, it’s my last chance.”
There is always that one person that shows up about four times a year, yet always seems to have the work done. They sulk into lectures while people stare at them with only one question on their minds... Do you even go here?
Everything is a conspiracy theory, they don’t believe in working for the man and have protests against GM crops, rote learning and the government coming out their ears. Once they start on a rant, there is no going back.