Don’t want to follow the news? Bluff it.

Here are five things you should pretend to know about this Wednesday.

BOD

Outrage swept the nation this morning, with the announcement that Brian O’Driscoll has been dropped from the Lions’ squad for Saturday’s final Test against Australia. There were gasps from members of the press when the Lions’ coach announced that Alun Wyn Jones will captain the team instead of O’Driscoll – and there were even more shock when it was announced that BOD hasn’t even made the 23. Speaking of gasping and breathing heavily and such, George Hook roared this morning that he is not “remotely surprised” by the move.

The Priests

Holy vocalists The Priests are to perform a concert for Pope Francis this Saturday. Fr Martin O’Hagan, Fr Eugene Delargy and his brother Fr David Delargy are to perform as part of the Year of Faith event in Rome. The Priests are the biggest sensation since this guy.

St Pope

In other papal matters, the late Pope John Paul II is likely to be made a saint later this year after he was credited with a second miracle today since his death in 2005. The late pontiff had already been credited with asking God to cure French nun Sister Marie Simon-Pierre of Parkinson’s disease. A second miracle is required for someone to be given full sainthood, and John Paul was today credited with the healing of a woman from Costa Rica. The final step for the procedure is a signature from the current pope to confirm the decision. Vatican officials declined to comment. Despite repeated prayers, God also refused to comment.

Merkel

Enda Kenny is meeting German Chancellor Angela Merkel today to discuss youth employment – or unemployment, we’re not sure whether Enda has taken a look at the Campus survey or not. According to the results, half of students do not have a part-time job.

Saxamaphone

Actress Yeardley Smith turns 50 today and has been playing the character of an eight-year-old girl in a hit TV show for 23 years. How is this possible you say? Her character is of course Lisa Simpson.