Get your own back at Rupert Murdoch: bluff the news.

Here are five things you should pretend to know about this rainy Wednesday.

1Death threats

Some One Direction fans have issued death threats to staff at GQ magazine because of its five cover special featuring the band. Fans were particularly upset with the cover line for Harry Styles: “he’s up all night to get lucky.” They accused the magazine of being nosy and refusing to focus on “all the other good stuff” Styles has done.” Twitter user @banginngniall said (loudly): “HARRYS COVER SAYS HE UP ALL NIGHT TO GET LUCKY, @BritishGQ YOURE MAKING HIM SOUND LIKE A WHORE. HES NOT A F***KING WHORE YOU STUPID C***S.” Don’t mess with the teenyboppers.

I’m dyin’

Research has shown that you experience the worst hangovers at the age of 29. According to the study commissioned by alcohol-free bar Redemption, it takes the average 29-year-old ten hours and 24 minutes to recover from the night before – an hour longer than average. Our hangovers are bad enough as it is now…God help us all.

Giant baby

Prince George may be the biggest royal baby in 100 years, but he is no match for German baby Jasleen. “Little” Jasleen weighs in at 14lb 4oz and measures at 57cm, making her the largest baby to ever be born in Germany. She was born naturally and doctors say both baby and mother are doing fine. Wunderbar!

Lovin' it

A couple from Bristol held their wedding reception in a McDonald’s because they love the food chain so much. Steve and Emily Asher and 33 guests dined at McDonald’s in Cribbs Causeway after attending a ceremony at a local registry office. The meal cost a total of £150 (€170).

So no one told you life was gonna be this way (clap, clap, clap, clap)

And finally, Phoebe and Chandler (Lisa Kudrow and Matthew Perry) say they wish Friends had never ended. It has been nearly 10 years since the sitcom went off air, but the two actors say they still think about the show.  Perry said: “If I had a time machine, I would like to go back to 2004 and not have stopped.” Lisa echoed this statement. “If it were up to us, like individually, oh, I would keep going,” she said. Until the reunion, we’ll have to make do with the millions of reruns on Comedy Central every day.