Forget about it Eileen Dunne. Bluff the news.

Here are five things you should pretend to know this Tuesday.

Aer Arann to strike

Pilots at Aer Arann look set to strike next week in a dispute over pay cuts. Over 90% of the pilots voted in favour of the proposed industrial action. The airline flies to 23 destinations, including holiday hotspots like Blackpool, Knock and the Isle of Man. How will we cope?

Stokes released

Irish international footballer Anthony Stokes has been released from Garda custody after being questioned in relation to an assault. The Celtic striker is alleged to have headbutted and punched Elvis impersonator Anthony Bradley at Buck Whalet’s nightclub on Leeson Street. Mr Bradley was said to be ‘All Shook Up’ following the incident, in which he suffered a broken nose and chipped teeth.

Dublin paths ‘embarrassing’

The Dublin City Council (DCC) has come under criticism for using cheap imported granite to fix footpaths in the city. The DCC said it was forced to resort to using Chinese white granite because Irish stone had become too expensive. The national heritage board An Taisce, described the use of the white granite as “absolutely embarrassing” and said the footpaths “looked terrible”.

What a load of b*****ks

Swedish men have been warned about a new type of fish with a taste for testicles. The South American Pacu fish has recently been discovered in Swedish waters. The Pacu is a relative of the infamous Piranha. Unlike the Piranha, Pacu’s don’t have razor blade teeth and its diet consists of nuts and fruit. However, the fish has been known to bite unfortunate swimmer’s testicles after mistaking them for a very different type of nut.

View from the Spire

And finally, photographer Paul O’Connell has unveiled spectacular aerial shots of O’Connell Street taken from the top of the Spire. He managed to take the shots from a crane, while the monument was undergoing cleaning.