Aengus Mac Grianna, give us a break.

Here are five things you should pretend to know this cloudy Tuesday.

Bus strike

“How the hell did you get here?” will be the question of the week: today marks the third day of the Dublin Bus strike. Some 400,000 commuters will be affected by the strike on the first full working day since it began. That’s 400,000 angry pedestrians, so watch out.

Some vomit-inducing news

This story will make you sick: Business Insider has reported that One Direction may become the first boy band to be worth $1billion. That is all.

Anxiously waiting for SUSI

Students around the country will be on edge as they wait anxiously to see if they qualify for a grant from the infamous SUSI. The deadline for applications to the student grant processing system was extended to midnight last night after the system experienced a (you guessed it) crash last week.

You've probably written more words than Shakespeare

A new study has shown that the average mobile phone user will send two million words of text messages in their lifetime. To put that into context, that’s six times the length of the Oxford English dictionary and twice the length of the complete works of Shakespeare.

Ragin’

And finally, a first-time mother who was told she was having a girl spent £3,000 (€3,400) on girly clothes and accessories gave birth to a boy. She must be only ragin’.