Keep bluffin’

Here are a few things you should pretend to know – bank holiday weekend bumper special.

Ah FFS SUSI

Last night, students were unable to submit forms to the much-criticised grants application system SUSI because the site experienced an IT crash. The deadline has been extended to midday today (August 2). The crash came hours after Education Minister Ruairi Quinn promised SUSI would perform better this year. Cringe.

Squat party cancelled

A squat party in a Dublin city centre property this weekend has been cancelled. The bank-appointed receiver of the property requested an injunction from the High Court earlier in the week. The court heard the party was scheduled for tonight until Monday morning. There’s always Oxegen.

Rent a car

Drivers can now rent cars by the hour in Dublin city. There will be 31 rental locations around the city and are run by car club GoCar. The hourly rate between 8am and 8pm is €4.99 and it costs €2.49 per hour between 8pm and 8am. Larger cars and vans will cost €5.99 per hour. F**k you Dublin Bikes.

Willy

The BBC has apologised for showing a doodle of a penis on Prince William’s head on BBC Breakfast. A trailer featuring comedy quartet Barbershopera featured a photo of Prince “Willy” with glasses, a moustache and a penis drawn on his face.

Baby TV giveaway

A TV station in Pakistan has made a major grab for ratings by giving away babies live on a talk-show. Presenter Aamir Liaquat Hussain gave away two abandoned girls to childless families last month and plans on giving away a boy this week. “If we didn’t find this baby, a cat or a dog would have eaten it,” he said. Makes sense.

B****cks

Chris O’Dowd would like to launch a campaign to create the world’s biggest pair of flying balls. The Moone Boy star has taken to crowd-funding site Indiegogo to raise money for ‘Skyballs’. It’s not a load of b****cks, though – the project is aimed to raise testicular cancer awareness.

Celtic Tiger lives

And finally, a fella at the Galway must have been in the money – this lad was spotted on RTE television wiping his face with a €50 note.