Don’t know what’s going on in the world? Bluff the news

Here’s some sh*t you should know this weekend

Own a piece of Twitter

You could own a little piece of Twitter - the microblogging site is to go public! And what’s more, the company announced the decision through their own Twitter account. Aren’t they very clever altogether.

Flight to Hell

All our superstitious readers will know that this month we've had a Friday the 13th - the day everything goes to sh*te. So would you be brave enough to take flight 666 to HEL today? Finnair AY666 passengers to Helsinki (HEL) don’t seem to mind - the flight is almost full. Besides, it’s bad luck to be superstitious.

Texts

Texters in Ireland sent over 2.4 billion messages between April and June this year - a decline of 22.3 per cent compared to last year. The number of multimedia messages is also down. That’s because everyone is sending their selfies and dick pics through message services like Whatsapp and whatnot.

Time travel

It is possible to build a time machine according to TV’s professor Brian Cox. But before you start thinking about how you’ll rewrite your life, he reckons it’s only possible to travel forward, not backwards, through ‘wormholes’ - whatever they are.

Dog found Google Maps

And finally, an abandoned dog has been rescued because an eagle-eyed woman spotted him on Google Maps. Jennifer Velasquez contacted the LA Hope For Paws group and told them where she saw the dog. The rescue effort included a YouTube campaign to find a good home. We can’t help but get the feeling that Jimmy Kimmel is behind this - we don’t believe anything anymore.