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Here’s some sh*t you should know this Wednesday.

F**ked for the JC

Around 60,000 chung wans will be getting their Junior Cert results this morning. Prepare for a barrage of meaningless Facebook messages and Tweets.

Caught in a Trap

The FAI is considering whether or not Giovanni Trapattoni should stay on as Ireland manager following a 1—0 defeat to Austria in last night’s World Cup qualifier. The loss has pretty much squashed all our hopes and dreams of going to Brazil. Oh, and it’s raining today. Happy f**king Wednesday.

Bogey

The owner of Tumbledown Trails Golf Course in Wisconsin has apologised following an advert commemorating today’s anniversary of the September 11 attacks in New York. The ad read: “To commemorate [9/11] we are offering 9 holes with car for only $9.11 per person or 18 holes with car for only $19.11!” Swing and a miss.

Decent thing

A robber who stole from a grocery store has asked for forgiveness after returning the money he stole 10 years ago. The remorseful criminal, who is a former drug addict, held Keosavanh Xayarath at gunpoint at his store in Nashville, Tennessee. He returned to the scene of the crime this month returning the $400 (€300) along with an apology note. It read: “I do not use drugs anymore, and I feel I must make amends to the people I have hurt in the past.”

Is that you Jim?

And finally, the video below is the latest thing to plague the interweb. It shows a husband falling in love with his wife for the first time again after waking up after surgery. “Did the doctor send you?” he says. “Man, you are eye candy. You’re the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen. Are you a model? Who are you?” When he’s told it’s his wife Candice, he replies: “You’re my wife? Holy sh*t! Oh my God, I hit the jackpot!” The video has received almost five million views so far. Alright, the jig is up Jimmy Kimmel…