Don’t want to follow the news? Bluff it

Here’s some sh*t you should know this sunny Monday.

Thanks Enda

Re-elected German chancellor Angela Merkel has praised Enda Kenny for implementing reforms “so passionately” as part of Ireland’s bank bailout. We’re not so sure if we’re all that passionate about the whole shebang, Enda…

Security breaches

It looks like there’s a new way of unlocking your iPhone 5S – a man has released a video on YouTube that shows him unlocking his phone using his nipple on the fingerprint reader. Not so sure how that would go down if he was using the device on the bus home.

Love him or hate him

Britain’s Saire May has changed his name to Mr Marmite to show his “devotion and passion” to the stuff.

Pets eat when they are emotional

Experts now say that animals overeat when they are emotional – just like humans. Bear that in mind next time you call the dog a fat bitch (literally).

D’weather

And finally, despite the lovely “mini Indian summer” we enjoyed today, it looks like d’weather is to become unsettled again in the coming days. ‘twas nice while it lasted.