Sober October is almost over – and giving up alcohol can be testing to say the least.
Some people partake to raise money for charity others to be a little healthier.
Here are some tips to make the most of your abstinence:
I’m not pregnant!
Ladies, learn to suck in your stomach promptly. This will be necessary to counter the pregnancy suspicion you’ll incur, once you reveal you aren’t drinking. First the eyes narrow, then they head to the stomach for confirmation of gestation.
Sympathise with hangovers (kind of)
Sympathise deeply with friends and co-workers who are hungover. This is best executed when accompanied with a pitying smile and a smug nod. “I once was like you friend; tired; fearful and with a tongue akin to sandpaper.” This will remind everyone of how wise and sound you are.
Educate people with fun alcohol related facts. “You know the Germans don’t even call it Jagermeister, they call it liver glue.”
Zen and clarity
Start using words like Zen and clarity when people ask how you are. Being a little cryptic will pique people’s interest and allow you an opening to describe your journey thus far.
Wear that cross
Bear/wear that cross. This will allow you to visually inform people of your abstinence. I’m not suggesting you invest in a tattoo or anything but some form of high-vis accessory wouldn’t be totally inappropriate, particularly if you are hitting the clubs with your friends and your faculties.
Take a sober selfie. Accompany said selfie with witty caption for maximum impact. Examples include: Make mine a double… BALLYGOWAN! No to drinking, yes to thinking, I just came here to dance, etc.