Of course the more sensible thing would have been to have a word with yourself and say: “No, I’m not going out. I have work tomorrow and I am a responsible employee”, but some friends have a Degree in the Art of Persuasion – and they always win…
So, it’s now the morning after and unless you have your very own time machine, you’re stuck dealing with the consequences of last night. Your head is splitting, your mouth is as dry as Gandhi’s flip-flop and you have a persistent aftertaste of Jagerbombs. Don’t panic – the most important thing to do is rehydrate. Drinking excessive amounts of alcohol dehydrates the body – you need at least 2 pints of water, stat!
If you’re still alive at this stage there is probably a fair chance you could make it into work on time. You need a shower an hour before work to fully wake yourself up – scrub away the shame from the night before and silently breakdown sobbing about the state your life is in.
This one is for the girls: if a shower is not an option, then take off your make-up, for God’s sake. You may think it leaving the house that you managed the impossible of keeping your full face of make up for 16 hours, but you more than likely look like death and still kind of drunk.
Turn off your phone – that is if you still have it of course. Avoid all contact with friends until after work. Let’s face it lads, the last thing you need when struggling through a day at work is to hear who shifted the night before.
Avoid food at all costs. Unless you are a waitress of course, then there is no escape. Keep to the basics: tea and toast will keep you stable. This rule can be abandoned however if bacon is involved because for some odd scientific reason, bacon possesses the magic ability to cure even the worse of hangovers.
At this stage, the end of the day is insight. For example, if you are a babysitter, stay awake that little bit long so the parents of the kids you’re minding don’t have to wake you up and question where their little darlings are.
Of course no hangover day at work would be complete with the statement of “I’m never drinking again”, which will be broken by next weekend. It’s inevitable.
Remember, parents know best and if they strongly advise you are in no fit state to work the mature thing to do is to let Mammy call in sick for you. She can explain that mystery bout of food poisoning to your boss...