Disastrous nights out, card getting declined, morning-after fear? Still better than an exam, writes Zainab Boladale.
For those who have just been through the pain of summer exams, you’ll agree that these short-lived tragic scenarios would hurt less than having to repeat the experience all over again.
 
1) The fear:
 
Who doesn’t love waking up to a hangover the morning after a night of heavy drinking? If you don’t wake up with the fear that you’ve done years’ worth of damage to your body, did you really have a good night? The amazing thing about having the fear is that it is often easily rectified with a sinful amount of your favourite takeaway. A different type of fear that isn’t so easily rectified is the one you feel when the questions on an exam paper make no sense to you.
 
2) Ghost Buses:
 
The unpredictable nature of Irish transport means that you’ll always have to accept that despite how well you time your bus it sometimes just won’t appear. Did you have somewhere important to be at 9 am? Good luck, because that bus you’ve been waiting on for the past 30 minutes has decided to just not exist. You might as well go back home and call it a day. Look on the bright side, though: at least you weren’t on the way to take an exam.
 
3) When your card gets declined:
 
We’ve all had that unfortunate moment when we’ve put items in a basket and walked towards the cashier with a beaming smile of content. After the items have been scanned, you go to put your card into the payment machine. Then disaster strikes, the screen flashes a bright bold ‘ERROR’ and suddenly your heart sinks. In that moment your first thought is to be as discreet as possible and whisper to the cashier. However, the cashier has already decided to name and shame you with a loud proclamation of “Your credit card has been declined, do you have cash?” While you accept the shame of it all, it still feels better than the shame of crying as you leave the exam hall with no hope.
 
4) A date doing a no show:
 
So you’ve met someone fabulous on Tinder and you’ve set up a cute dinner date. You’re all dressed up and ready to impress them with your 10/10 personality. You show up a little late and they’re not there yet? No worries, they’ll probably arrive soon. 10 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes pass, they’re not replying to their messages. You realise you’ve been stood up so you go home to wallow in your self-pity.
 
5) Forgetting ID:
 
You’re pumped, you’re ready to sesh, you’re out with your mates and you are all certain tonight is going to be the best night ever! Everyone is in high spirits as they queue to get into the club and then you realise that you’ve left your ID at home. Your friends reassure you that you look well over 18, but the bouncer disagrees. You beg, you plead but he doesn’t care that this has been your first night out in months and it’s of the utmost importance. You know what would be worse, though, forgetting your student card for an exam worth 10 credits and being told you can’t sit it.
 
I don’t know about you but I’d rather all of these scenarios occur in one day than having to sit through multiple heart wrenching exams spread out over a month. College, you’ve done it again.