Whether 2012 was the year for everybody there is one thing that most people will have in common on the 1st of January 2013; resolutions for the next 12 months. May it be fitting into those old pair of jeans or starting afresh in life, people always have something that they want to change when they ring in the New Year. However, have we ever heard the phrase, ‘The road to hell is paved with good intentions? Plans do not always work out and life tends to throw curveballs at us at every step of the way, leaving our best intentions in the gutter. Here are some of the resolutions that never seem to come to pass:
The classic. How many times has at person at the end of the year looked at their post-Christmas waistline and said ‘I’m joining a gym in January’. They are saturated with advertisements from over-eager gyms, offering cheap membership with promises of having the body of your dreams. Sounds easy right? Cut back on the biscuits and hit the treadmill. How difficult can it be? Next thing you know its February and you have been to the gym once in four weeks. You were too sore after your first visit to brave going again. That trial separation with junk food didn’t really work it so you got back together after two weeks. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Don’t worry, there is always next year.
Another New Year’s Eve party spent alone in the corner clutching your drink while your friends flutter about with their respective partners. Oh no, the countdown to midnight. You search frantically for any fellow singleton to lock lips with. Alas, 10 seconds later it is just you planting a kiss on your beer bottle, knowing that is the only action you are going to get for the night. You say: no more! You swear to have a new love interest by the summer: you will dazzle some unsuspecting ‘suitor’ with your charms and all will be well. Cue May, the sun is shining and you are still single and not so ready to mingle. The effort of looking fabulous, constantly showcasing your amazing personality and being just awesome was just too taxing. There isn’t much wrong with being single: more space in the bed.
Become a Nicer Person
Being selfish was so 2012. It is the year of good deeds so you might as well jump on the bandwagon. The world needs more good Samaritans. Who knows? Maybe you will be the next Bono. Not only will you be a charitable god/goddess, you swear not to spread any gossip or butt in to people’s personal lives. Roll on sainthood. Wait, who are you trying to fool? That Trocaire box is full of pens not pennies. Volunteering abroad? That actually costs a whole lot of money, even more than a holiday to Spain. And that whole not being a nosey nelly: did you hear who shifted who at last night’s party?
Last semester was a disaster. You left all your assignments until last minute and had to pull four consecutive all-nighters just to get them done. Never again. Sleep deprivation does not agree with you. Next term you will be the model student and attend every lecture. Assignments will be done with a week to spare. But there will be a lot more house parties next semester, won’t there be? Plus one of the lectures is a complete waste of time, there is no point going to it. You could use that time to catch up on your sleep! The more you think about it, the thought of starting your assignments early is a little ridiculous. How will you know what to put in the essay if it hasn’t been said in the lecture yet? Besides, the adrenaline rush of trying to finish an assignment is exactly what has been missing in your life.
Yeah. Right. Pass the wine please.