Roísín Cullen says what we've all thought.
Starting college is a scary, nerve-wracking time - this we know. You had just gotten used to your assigned seat in your Physics class, and now your lumped into a lecture hall with a few hundred other students. So your first lecture will always be a cause of worry and concern, and no doubt you've worried about one of these fears: 

1. I will fall in front of 450 intellectuals and be forced to emigrate to Equatorial Guinea.

How will I cope with the weather there?


2. My chair will spontaneously collapse, causing me to break my collarbone, several important limbs and lose my dignity forever.

I can never return to this lecture hall. 


3. My stomach will decide to demonstrate the mating call of a Beluga whale.

Everyone will know that I skipped breakfast to save money for a Penneys splurge.


4. I will be surrounded by strangers, be forced to eat my lunch in the toilet recreating an iconic Mean Girls scene and live out the rest of my days as a hermit.

And eventually forget how to communicate with other human beings.


5. The lecturer could have a Donegal accent.

There goes my First...


6. The Irish lecturer could have a Donegal accent.

No hope for any of us. 


7. My pen could blow up leaving me unable to take vital notes eventually causing me to fail my degree and disgrace my family name.

Totally viable. 


8. A “cool” lecturer might decide to play Despacito.

And dance. 


9. “This textbook is vital for your research and costs €100,000,000, your left kidney, half your soul and the Sam Maguire cup”

"And you only need it until Christmas".


10. North Korea decides to target St Patricks College, Drumcondra.

God damn Trump.

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