Though the idea of living with several other college students may seem like a dream, the reality can sometimes eb far from it. You realise, as their music blares at 1AM on a Tuesday night, that perhaps you won't be making a life-long friend with some of your housemates. And if you're really unlucky, you'll be stuck with one of these for a housemate:
1. The Early Riser.
It’s your one lie in of the week. You don’t have any lectures until the afternoon. You may even have gone out the night before, knowing you’d catch up on sleep in the morning. The early riser roommate, however, has other ideas. You’ll hear as they have a shower at 7am, as they make breakfast and bang cupboard doors, and their smoothie blender will mercilessly aggravate your pounding hangover.
2. The Night Owl.
This roommate loves to let you know they’ve gotten home safely from a night out. They drunkenly fumble at the door with their loud, jingly keys. They shout goodnight to their friends from your doorway. They may even have a gang over to your house for an after sesh. Whatever they do, it’s always obnoxiously loud. Long story short; if this particular breed of roommate is planning on having an all nighter, then you’ll be having one too, like it or not!
3. The Mute Roommate.
This roommate will be particularly hard to get to know. You’ll move in with the best intentions of getting along with them, but they just won’t let you. All of your best ice breakers are met with mere one word answers, grunts or just a nod of the head. They may just seem quiet or shy at first, but after a while you will learn that they’re actually just rude. Classic behaviours of this breed of roommate include leaving a room if you walk in, wearing earphones 24/7 and leaving memos on the fridge, all in a bid to avoid any verbal communication.
4. The Messy Roommate.
This one is perhaps the toughest to live with. The messy roommate is dangerous because they seem so nice at first; so chill, so laidback. However, it will soon become clear that this roommate takes this relaxed approach to most things. They’ll be relaxed about their pile of unwashed pans and dishes in the kitchen sink, relaxed about their wet towels on the bathroom floor, and super duper relaxed about their lumpy, sour milk in the fridge. Messy roommate would, in their defence, be great if only they still had mummy to do everything for them.
5. The Thieving Roommate.
This roommate is very sneaky, and strikes very gradually. It starts off small. A slice or two of your bread will go missing. You could have sworn there were three eggs left in the box, not two. Soon the milk carton will magically be empty, the toilet roll vanished, and only a few drops of cooking oil will remain. After a month or two, you start labelling all your food in the hopes that your roommate was just confused. When the thieving continues, you’ll keep all non-perishables safely hidden in your room as if the apocalypse is hitting tomorrow.
6. The Hyper-Organised Roommate.
Meet messy roommate’s opposite. This roommate is very particular about what they like, and will be put off if anything even slightly out of place. You’ve hardly told them your name before they’ve added it to their cleaning rota. You’ll still be eating the food off your plate as they grab for it to make it sparkle once again. And if you forget that it’s your turn to take out the bins by a certain hour on a certain day, then you have made an enemy for life in this roommate. This roommate also has the ability to sense things no one else can. Look out for questions like “do you get a funny smell in here?”, “can you see those streakson the window?” and “don’t you want to cry when people lump their soup spoons together with the dessert spoons?” Just…no.
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