Some shapes should never be thrown

There is no shame in being a dancing chancer – it’s what we all become once we hit the club. It doesn’t all have to be fist pumps, twerks and shuffles, and a nice bit of creativity on the floor can earn some welcome attention – maybe even a free drink or two. 
However, there is a fine line between tearing up the dance floor and bulldozing it. Stay yourself, and avoid the following at all costs.
The jig
The nostalgia of a good tune can take us back to our youth at an alarming speed. This is all well and good. Acknowledge the nostalgia, wave to it even, then let it go. 
Danger ensues when you allow the nostalgia to take you back to the Leinster Feis of ’02 when you won that medal for that rockin’ reel. 
‘Rockabye Baby’ is not ‘Drowsy Maggie’ and the moment you start hitting those 1,2,3s on the dancefloor, there’s no coming back. 
The ‘Saturday Night’ routine 
A lot of things should be left at the GAA discos and the ‘Saturday Night’ routine is one of them. 
Yes, it is a rhythmic masterpiece that fits beautifully with most regular beats, and yes, the rolly polly is the best part, but its days have passed. 
Don’t even think for a second that you can get a row of people copying you, because you can’t – I’ve tried. It may be Saturday night, but they don’t like the way you move. Not anymore. 
Head banger 
Your ‘My Chemical Romance’ days are over, my friend. While it can be handy to shake off any unwanted attention from the opposite sex, and revitalise the hair with some much-needed volume, the advantages of this move end there. 
Three likely scenarios will more than likely occur:
a) your hair will dip into an assortment of drinks, b) you’ll be escorted off the dance floor by a bald bouncer who you’ll insist is ‘just jealous’ and/or c) you’ll wake up the next morning crippled with a paralysing neck creak. Avoid at all costs. 
Prop use 
Kill it before it breeds is the answer to this scenario. It takes a special kind of shape-thrower to exhaust all shapes and resolve to hunt for bigger and better things. 
These usually take the form of railings to sexily swing from, tables to cautiously climb on, chairs to get your Moulin Rouge on, banisters to gracefully glide down or walls to sultrily slide down. 
While enjoyment of these props is admittedly at its peak level, let the thoughts of the Snapchat stories sober you up and knock a bit of sense into you. Furniture is functional, not a friend. 
Stay Yourself on your next night out. Visit Diageo’s http://www.stay-yourself.eu/ for more information.