Survival Guide

*do not sit next to me* – the dreaded bus journey home from college

When you’ve done it enough times the whole thing becomes monotonous and you do the journey on autopilot: packing, walking to the station, buying your ticket, queueing, getting your seat and sitting there daydreaming for the next two hours. 
 
If you’re from a small country town like myself, you might even have to change busses- meaning that once you complete one half of the journey you have to do it all again with the next bus. And God help you if your iPod is out of battery.
 
In my fourth year in Galway and travelling back to County Limerick every second week or so, I’ve done the journey countless times. And there are a few thoughts that go through my head every time without fail.
 
Ye’d better not do anything fun while I’m away.
One of the most annoying things ever is the FOMO when you’re heading back to your hometown. 
 
The Fear Of Missing Out almost always comes to fruition on the weekends. You’re just heading out the door, bags packed, cutting it short to get to the station on time and you hear your housemates discussing a house party ye’ve all just been invited to that’s on that very night. Fantastic.
 
Ah hello, there’s a queue!
There’s always one who shows up just as everyone’s starting to get on the bus and tries to nonchalantly step in at the front. Everyone knows this person. Maybe you’ve even been this person. If so, I’ve given you the stink eye.
 
 
Stand clear. Luggage doors operating. Boop!
Don’t lie. You talk along with it in your head.
 
Hurry up for fecks sake!
Every time I’m waiting to get on the bus there’s someone who hasn’t bought their ticket at the machine and is handing over a mile of change to the driver. 
 
This person has most likely been standing in the queue for ages doing nothing, and they wait until they’re on the bus before they start digging around for their wallet. There’s a load of people behind them but they don’t seem to care. And usually it’s raining or absolutely baltic. Do not do this.
 
Don’t sit next to me. Don’t sit next to me. Don’t sit next to me!
This one is pretty self-explanatory. Ah well, at least you got the window seat.
 
WHY. ARE. WE. NOT. MOVING?
Roadworks. Roadworks everywhere.
 
Why even bother stopping at this town?
You know this town. No one ever gets on or off there. You’re not even convinced it’s a town at all. Maybe it’s a figment of your imagination. 
 
If I miss this connection someone’s getting sued.
With the bus I have to transfer to I’m either just on time or I’ve missed it by less than a minute. Then there’s an hour long wait for the next one. No-one gets sued.
 
I badly need to learn how to drive.
Eh, I’ll get around to it at some point.
 
FINALLY.
You’ve done it- you’ve reached your destination. Now to enjoy the weekend and try not to think about when you have to do this whole thing again two days later.