‘Tis the season to be…sexy. In the spirit of giving, below is a list of stocking fillers that will help you, eh, get your jollies this holiday season.
1. Jiggle balls
Fifty Shades of Grey made these the must have sex toy last year. Designed to simultaneously stimulate your g-spot and strengthen your pelvic muscles, the jiggle balls can be purchased in a range of materials including glass, steel and silicone. For first time users silicone is probably the best option, it is also usually the cheapest.
2. Massage candles
Massage candles do exactly what they say on the tin. As the candle burns the wax turns into scented massage oil. Your partner will definitely appreciate it to do away with any Christmas related stress. It is also far safer than messing around with your Yankee candles.
3. C**k rings and tongue vibrators
These can be bought relatively inexpensively and they are ideal if you are unfamiliar with sex toys and want to branch out. Avoid the Durex ones as they are pretty useless and you can find similarly priced ones that are much better.
4. Anal trainers or intro toys
If you are going to go there for goodness sake do it properly. You wouldn’t run a marathon without appropriate preparation right? Well it’s the same principle here. And don’t try to improvise with what you already have. Toys that are not designed for anal use do not have flared tabs at the bottom for security. A trip to A&E to have an unsuitable toy removed is not the type of Christmas memory anyone wants to make….
This is a classic but a word of warning: know your audience. Crotchless knickers and nipple tassels are not for everyone, and that’s fine, but don’t present your other half with a scanty ensemble that is going to make them uncomfortable just because you like it. That is so not what Christmas is about. And get the size right.
6. Gift sets
Gift sets contain a bit off everything and make an amazing present if you are unsure what your partner is going to like. Most sex shops do box sets for couples too which is obviously the best kind of present if you’re going to benefit too.
They are an expensive luxury and while it is nice for someone to buy one for you it is a hugely personal decision so it is best not to go in blind. Allow the person you are buying it for to choose it themselves and throw in some cleaning wipes for extra brownie points.
8. Over the door restraints
These are cheaper than restraints that fit under the mattress and much more fun. They can be easily taken down when not in use. Throw in a blindfold for good measure, go on…
9. Sex swings/fantasy swings
These are considerably more expensive than everything else on this list and would definitely count as a ‘big’ present but jewellery will only work for so many Christmases. Sex swings allow you to achieve difficult positions with ease.
Don't forget the batteries!
Admittedly not very sexy, but there is nothing sadder than unwrapping a great present you want to use straight away and then having to take batteries from the TV remote – a sure-fire mood killer.