With the last stable memory being “Ah, I’ll have one drink”, you set out on that inevitable quest to put the pieces of the night before back together.
After finally convincing yourself to get up out of bed you reluctantly check your recent calls and texts – if you still have your phone, that is. Your trusty Blokia may have fallen between the cracks of last night’s antics, never to be seen again.
Twenty-three calls to your recent crush and 15 illegible expressions of your undying love for them. Burying your head back under the duvet, you vow to never bring your phone out with you again.
Making the rounds through your phonebook can heighten your anxiety, when your friends recall moments of you fancying yourself to be something of a Michael Flatley and climbing up onto the bar to treat other punters to a show-stopping performance to Avicii's 'Wake Me Up'.
On the other hand your restlessness will certainly improve when you compare yourself to Ryan who rang you in a panic saying “I was sure I was getting with a 10 last night but there’s a Deirdre Barlow look alike in the bathroom and I’ve no idea where I am. FIND ME”.
Social networking sites are a big fat no-no, whether it’s the night before or the day after. If you manage to get home the night before and are unlucky enough to remember and spell your password for Twitter or Facebook, be prepared.
The countless tweets of your deepest feelings and the numerous Facebook messages to everyone who was unfortunate enough to be online will not have the same impact on you as they did the night before. There’s the random conversations with people you didn’t really know that well and who now think you’re best friends. Worse than that the photo reminders will do enough damage to keep you locked inside until the next big scandal.
If you like most of us have found yourself in this position the only cure is to get back on the horse and go out again. That way, you can revive your reputation on the town and hopefully it'll be one of your mate's turns to suffer the fear. What's more, you can take the opportunity to replace those nasty pictures on your Facebook timeline with ones of a competent drinker…
Trust me, it works.