With the new academic year fast approaching, graduate hopefuls across the land expect to start the new year enriched by the wisdom and insights of their lecturers and tutors. Unfortunately, for many of us, this is not the case.
Although moving away from home is often a barrier to the whole ‘learning’ malarkey, it often teaches us things our hefty ‘student contribution fees’ don’t afford.
Rice is nice but only when others cook it
There are many pitfalls when cooking rice. Measuring a portion of rice is like an episode of Operation Transformation – the scales is sacred. As many landlords do not provide such privileges as scales and measuring cups, what started out as a light dinner often leaves you feeling fit for hibernation.
Before you know it, there’s no room for any water in the pot. The naked eye is not built for such operations. It’s just not.
Toilet roll does not grow on trees
Ever have no toilet roll in your family home? As in, none in the whole house? Nope, guessed not. In most cases there’s so much toilet roll in the house, you could use it to build a house, or at least a decent pyramid. Now, think of your student house. Think of all the times you’ve contemplated stuffing that giant roll of industrial toilet paper from college into your bag.
Picture a packet of Andrex. Any student saying they would rather the puppy over the four rolls of soft, luxury cushion-like paper is lying to themselves. Toilet paper is not to be taken for granted.
Daytime TV is better than lectures
Sometimes it all gets too much and the best way to exercise control over your life is to compare yourself to those less ‘together’. It’s amazing what an episode of Jeremy Kyle can do for your self-esteem. Tipping Point is a better kick start to your day than a bottle of Boost, and the bit of gossip from the ladies on Midday is the TV equivalent of the back rows of a lecture theatre.
The clue that enough is enough becomes clear when you begin to don an accent from the deep south – it’s time to give Dr. Phil a rest.
The only thing worse than the cold is paying for heating
Ever wonder why going home at weekends is so cosy? Heat. After a week of resembling the Michelin tyre man wearing layer upon layer of clothing to keep yourself warm, the novelty of a radiator which makes you warmer and not colder is almost too much.
Almost. For the safety hazard that is making dinner draped in two duvets plus a fluffy rug is much less threatening than a potential heating bill. It’s more of a power struggle between you, and the radiators, but both of you are losing, let’s be real.