Student Issues

I don’t dance

Despite a somewhat misleading headline, this article is not homage to High School Musical or even a statement of fact to be honest.

We all dance, whether voluntarily or not, we’ve all been in Coppers or [insert name of your local disco or dance establishment here], but no matter how much practice and dedication you put into perfecting your signature dance move you will never move away from the awkward problem that Irish people can’t dance.

Have you ever been to a nightclub sober?  That’s a stupid question – of course you haven’t but imagine it.  Very few people in the world look good dancing. Usher and Shakira are the only two that come to mind, but if you remove them, the rest of us look like we are having a seizure to music.  

Copper Faced eejits

This whole article came from the news that a woman decided to sue Coppers for the injuries she suffered after she fell while attempting to perform the dance from Dirty Dancing.  On one hand you have to admire her neck for suing against her own stupidity, but on the other you have to wonder why she thought it was wise to break the golden rule, what happens in Coppers, stays in Coppers.

Despite what you think you look like, all people, men, women and students alike look like their dad dancing at a wedding.  Remember that mortal embarrassment of seeing the spectacle that is Dad dancing?  That’s you, every Saturday night.  This generation has not somehow evolved to be able to dance?  Our parents and grandparents alike weren’t able to dance, why exactly do we think we can?

According to Wikipedia (don’t ever say that we don’t use the very best research), dance is performed in many cultures as a form of emotional expression, social interaction, or exercise, in a spiritual or performance setting, and is sometimes used to express ideas or tell a story.  It sounds so wonderfully poetic until you question what story you were trying to tell when you are fist pumping the ceiling and kicking your legs in the air?  Perhaps recreating a Viking invasion? 

Drunk dancing

In some cultures, dancing I used as part of a mating ritual, naturally, being a wonderfully diverse and multicultural nation; Ireland has adopted this in our own unique way.  Drunkenly swaying towards an attractive lad or lassie in a nightclub is how most Irish relationships start.  The great blame for all this, as with most things is the cause and solution to all of life’s problems, alcohol.  Dancing is not something you do naturally but after that 12th Jäger bomb your legs just can’t help it. 

All joking aside, for the next person who injures themselves recreating a routine from their favourite film, don’t sue the nightclub.  Hang your head in shame for your own stupidity and move on.  Use is as an amusing anecdote in the future because whether or not you win the case is irrelevant; you’ll just ruin the fun for everyone else.  Might I suggest that Tom Hanks’ dance in Big might prove slightly less risky?

“Life is short and there will always be dirty dishes, so let's dance.”