Satire

Roommate’s Mouldy Chilli Has Entered Second Week

Tensions are quietly flaring at a home in Cork rented by 3 students where for the past two weeks housemate Louis Greaney has neglected to do anything about a bowl of chilli left exposed on the kitchen counter.

His two other housemates are calling the situation a “standoff” as no one has made any attempts to remove the chilli. The housemates, Aiden O’Regan and Conor Lynch, report that the chilli has now “grown some nasty green shit on top”, presumably mould, our forensics team has revealed.

When asked about what they have done to remedy the situation Lynch stated that “we’re just leaving it there until he cleans it himself. I don’t want to touch it, Aiden tried and he got sick, its nasty.”

Neither housemate knows how much longer it will last on the counter, and figure it will remain until they vacate the home, “I bet he’ll throw the whole thing in the trash, bowl and all” commented O’Regan.

This isn’t the first time Greaney has caused an issue with his housemates. O’Regan and Lynch recalled a time where he “straight up got sick on the couch, made a toastie, ate it, got sick on the couch again, fell asleep in it, and then went back home to Mayo the next morning”.

Greaney put a towel over the sick and still has not cleaned it up.

The lads will continue their waiting game with Greaney but they are adamant “there’s no way in hell we’re living with Louis next year.”

More as we have it.

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