Satire

Dublin Nightclub Uses Westlife Song To Torture Students

At around 3am on Thursday, at a Harcourt Street club, bouncers forced the doors shut and locked over 1,000 punters inside.

Upon realisation of what had happened, panic struck the dancefloor. The smoking area was still blissfully unaware of what was yet to come.

The DJ hollered over the microphone, “I hate you Coppers” as a familiar tune echoed from the speakers.

Westlife’s ‘Flying Without Wings’ was set on repeat for 37 mins before the club erupted with angry drunks. Attempts were made to stop the torturous music but the disc jockey was invincible. His cryptic musical genius was too strong for the inebriated patrons.

The misery continued for a total of 2 hours. The doors eventually gave way to the rowdy tackles and normality was returned as the crowd herded towards Babylon.

Brian McFadden has said, “I simply don’t know why anyone would use that song as torture? It’s my favourite one. I brush my teeth to that sh*t”.

The angsty DJ has been reprimanded but no one is sure what finally blew his fuse.